Week 3. BBQ Bankie

LNRFC Blog: Virgin Nigeria Airways sponsored Tour to Nigeria

Somewhere around week 3.

Regular readers of this Blog will know that it didn't exist until this edition… For those who are new to this journal, we have some important updates on the progress of the tour. But first, a short recap: 30 intrepid members of London Nigerian's elite (ahem) have decided to flaunt their talent in the home territory, Nigeria. Tournaments are set up, TV interviews, sponsors, and early morning training in 'car parks.' In short, it's set to be quite the adventure. We have parties, BBQ's, Tug O'War, and clothing to sell. Everything is being thrown at this our in order to make it work. Here's the situation at week 3.

Meeting Metrics demonstrate avid dedication to tour.

Now, something like this wouldn't be possible without regular meetings, something LNRFC are as good at being late to, as they are at making them laboured. Let's look at them in detail:

The meeting metrics (paid for by Virgin Nigeria):

These statistics have been collated by quiet observers with modern videography equipment linked up to a computer bureau in Wales. Due to Wales' recent and massive investment in technology, we are able to get these figures just 3 weeks after the data has been submitted. Here they are:

Discussion points:

Tour Kit 99%

Other Business 0.5%

Rants and Tirades 0.5%

Yes indeed. Whether we raise enough money to get to Nigeria may be touch and go, but we are going to look damn good trying.

One insider tells us that they were hoping for a massive uplift in the Rants and Tirades ratio, but Fola walked out mid – tirade and lost us massive rating points. LNRFC now go down one place in Meetings National Division 3. (Fola did score highly on accuracy and insightfulness, but this is only taken into account during the group stages).

Attendance

Meeting 1 100%

Meeting 2 100%

Meeting 3 100%

(Accuracy +/- 95%)

Minutes rating N/A (Insufficient data)

Belligerent Bankie BBQs in Beating Rain

One of our most notable tourists has gone out of his way to make this tour happen. BBQ's in the rain are a rare endevour, but Francis "I'll BBQ anytime, anywhere" Irele, aka Bankie, defied the weather, God, and Physics when he was found BBQ'ing in the rain. More than that, he managed it whilst simultaneously making phone calls to BBQ punters coaxing them into coming and eating his rainy food. A noble cause indeed. To the surprise of his hungry punters, Bankie managed to retain the spice on the chicken despite the flood from the heavens, and all were satisfied. It wasn't the feeding of the five thousand, but at this stage – it all counts.

Next week – LNRFC gate crash a Nigerian Carnival, and we have the answer to the question you've all been waiting for – will we look good in the new tour baseball caps?

Late breaking News: This just (eagerly) sent in by Tunde Aiyegbusi

Ode to Virgin Nigeria by Tunde Aiyegbusi

Vigin, Virgin Nigeria
Your airline is really superior
I so love your planes
They drive me insane
If you were a woman I'd want to be with ya